Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Well, I hope everyone had a fantastic Christmas this year.. Hopefully Santa was better to all of you than he was to me.. :D The Kid on the other hand, seems to have pleased Santa this year, because she S~C~O~R~E~D.
So Santa brought her a Nintendo Wii to my house... very cool.. . and he also brought one to her gramas house. Nice. She got enough clothes to wear something new for the next month and not wear the same thing twice. Kids score. What about the parents!?! Well, the single parent. Santa skipped me this year. The kid felt bad about that, so she decided that we would "share" the Wii. Thanks Kid. :D Doesn't matter about the whole santa thing to me as much as she was upset about it. THAT made me happy and smile... she's very thoughtful, well to me at least. XOXO
Anyway, I'm sure everyone made their rounds the last couple days, and ate and drank til you couldn't stand anymore.. Too much fun.
Another Christmas has come and gone... Kinda nice now.. I get to get back to some sort of normalcy in my life over the next couple days.. I hope to take down a bunch of the decorations this afternoon.. I'll be gone out of town til next week some time, so the sooner I get this done, the less crabby I'll be when I get back and have to do it then.. HA HA O well, Happy Holidays Everybody and whatever your New Years' plans are, BE SAFE!!
P.S. Auntie, "The Kid" was crushed you didn't call.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Well, I JUST found the BIG gift yesterday. And I get to pick it up today. I am really excited for it too.. The Kid is going to be sooo happy. Of course she'll forget about all the "other" stuff but hey.. LOL
Anyhoo... It's right around the corner.. sneaking up on me nice and quiet.. but I'm ready this time. ok, I'll be ready by this evening.. and it's all good. Just think, all of the anticipation of "CHRISTMAS IS COMING" then it just shows up out of nowhere, and then it's gone. Poof! All of the excitement, over in literally minutes. Sigh. Oh, wait. Then comes New Years a week later. Kinda nice being more of an adult now, and not trying to find the coolest party to go to, just do do things you normally wouldn't do while completely drunk, end up on a gossip site somewhere and have to wait for hours to get a cab to pick you up.. Now, quiet trips out to the desert to go riding. Now THAT is fun. Being one with "dirt". Take all the dried out Christmas trees out there... put them all standing (leaning) together... and light them on fire. Now THAT is a sight. Oh, and gotta have "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash playing in the background... Just something to do... :D Merry Christmas Everyone.
“Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.” ~Dave Barry
Sunday, December 16, 2007
So this one year, the house was dark, and there was a fire going and my mom had apple cider with cinnamon sticks on the stove. (ok, so that scent was and still is one of my favorite smells at Christmas time). Now, what made it so "different" (LMAO) was that we watched Mr Magoo's Christmas, and ELEPHANT PARTS. Ok, WHO on earth watches Elephant Parts on Christmas Eve for goodness' sake!?! I believe I've mentioned that my family isn't all that conventional, but I think that takes it to the extreme. And yet, one of the BEST memories of Christmas Eve like, Ever.
(Thanks Mom, for the chat and walk down what I like to call amnesia lane... ) The more walks I take down there, the more "memories" seem to creep up... I kinda like it. :)
"We do not remember days; we remember moments. " ~Cesare Pavese
Sacrifices we make for our kids (and friends) is what it's all about. We (as adults) can be miserable, and cold and wet and frozen, as long as the kids are enjoying their selves and make some awesome memories. Honestly, I can't complain... seeing them laughing their butts off, and having such a great time, it was worth it.
I could really do without the constant singing of Christmas songs tho... LOL there is only so much "I want a hippopotamus for Christmas" that I can handle... :D
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
How to shower like a woman:
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.. If you see husband/boyfriend along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror make mental note to do more sit ups/leg lifts
Get in shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to be sure it is clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint enhanced conditioner.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in the shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband/boyfriend along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
How to shower like a man.
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife/girlfriend along the way, shake wiener at her while making the woo-woo sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.
Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse the snot off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower
Spend majority of time washing private parts and surrounding areas.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap bar.
Wash your hair with bar of soap. Make a Mohawk. Pee.
Rinse off and get out of the shower. Partially dry off.
Fail to notice the water on the floor because shower curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size again in the mirror.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on the floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife/girlfriend, pull towel off, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
Throw wet towel on her pillow.
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something so very wrong with you.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Anyone know how LONG I can keep a bunch of bottles of beer before they spoil? Does beer spoil? LOL IF you have tried Flying Dog (Any brew), what do YOU think???
Lemme know. :D
Monday, December 10, 2007
So, this guy at Bevmo tells me about Leinenkugle's Sunset Wheat beer. HE says it is very similar to Flying Dog In Heat Wheat.. He's tried it too. So, I found it over at Ralphs, and picked me up a 6 pk. I got home and tried it, spit it out. Seriously. It was the worst. I mean, it tasted like FRUITY PEBBLES cereal. Not even Fruit loops.. those are actually good. This was gross. Got one beer down, and man, you'd think it would get better after like 2 right? Nope. Can't NOT drink the beer.. can't bring myself to waste it.. Not even after the whole 6pk which took me like 3 hours to drink them all did it get ANY better. SOOOO not me. I LOVE beer.. just about everyone knows that. So... if you LIKE wheat beer, don't bother with that Leinenkugle.. BLECH
On to the rest of my weekend.. it was Fantastic. I got to have a nice QUIET weekend all by myself. I did Christmas shopping and wrapped presents, and watched Football.. had myself a fire most of the weekend... it was great. Sometimes you just need to be alone for a couple days, perhaps to regain sanity or just rejuvenate. I think it was really good because, being alone, and Christmas coming, let me to think about a lot of my family/friends that have passed on and how much I miss them. That then led to some tears, some dialect out loud with them, and then moving on with my day... I think it really did me a lot of good... I came to some realizations on Saturday, and just let myself "FEEL". I rarely do that. I do pretty good at hiding it all, but I think since I was alone, in my head it was "ok" to feel... and it felt good.
Sunday, I finished up wrapping stuff and watched football... After that I decided to start reading again. I like the Criminal/Death close to real life kinds of books (and TV shows, and movies.. LOL )
So Patricia Cornwell is an author I really enjoy reading. I have read the entire Kay Scarpetta series and have put off starting Predator because it was the last book. That makes me sad. I can usually finish a book in a day or two. That would have left me very sad waiting for the next book. So I waited. Last night I went slow and only read about 100 pages (19 chapters or so). Come to find out today that the next book was released two months ago, and I wasn't paying attention. What timing huh?? I think so.. ;) I think it was the fact that I have ESPN and subconsciously knew there was another book and it was ok to start this one... LMAO
Anway, again, hope ya'll had a great weekend... I did.
I am content just being me right now... that is very cool..
Friday, December 7, 2007
I made one of my coworkers... I think I'm gonna have to distribute that one around the office... ;) Muahahaha (ok, did that kinda sound evil? LOL)
Elf Yourself Now!
Thursday, December 6, 2007
The Best Christmas Fruit Cake Recipe You Ever Tried!
Guaranteed to be fun to make!
Christmas Whiskey Cake
1 cup butter
2 cups sugar
6 large eggs
2 teaspoons baking powder
3 cups flour, sifted
1/2 t. salt
1 cup bourbon
1 pound pecans, chopped
3 cups white raisins (or use candied fruit)
1 t. nutmeg
~ a very large bottle of bourbon whiskey ~
First, sample the whiskey to check for quality.
Assemble all of the ingredients. Check the whiskey again.
To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
Repeat this step.
Turn on the electric mixer and beat one cup of butter in a large
fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and cream until beat.
Make sure the whiskey is still okay... try another cup.
Turn off the mixer. Beat six leggs and add to the bowl,
then chunk in the cup of dried flut. Mix on the tuner.
Throw in two quarts of flour. Gradually pour in the cow.
Add 2 dried anything.
If the fried druit gets struck in the beaters, pry it loose with
a drewscriver. Sample the whiskey and check it again for tonsistency.
Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares???
Check the whiskey again.
Now sift the nutmeg and strain your nuts. Add one table.
And the spoon. Of whiskee. Or something. Whatever you find left.
Grease the oven.
Turn the crake pan to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Pour the oven into the batter. Throw the bowl out the window.
Lick the batter off the floor.
Bake 300 minutes at 50 degrees.
Finish the blobble of whishy and flow to bed.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
You can't TELL your siblings outright because they never believe you. Or anyone else for that matter really. As long as whatever you are doing helps them somehow. Usually in my case it is FINANCIAL assistance. And of course, I get screwed ALMOST every time. The sister usually does pay back when she says she will, but the brother, now he is certainly a piece of work. NEVER pays back.. and as a matter of fact, continues to keep borrowing more. Of course, that is MY fault to keep allowing that to occur. Even in JAIL, it happens. With the brother, it's like a plague. And when he doesn't get his way? LOOK THE HELL OUT. According to him, you will be spat upon, disowned, and anything else he can think of to piss you off for NOT helping him. I have always done whatever I can for the brother, but I finally lost all respect for him. He is a childish immature spoiled brat who cares about NO ONE but himself. It really hurts me to see him the way he is. I used to chalk up his shitty~ness to all the drugs he used to do. I mean, that made so much sense back then. But, unfortunately, he is still the selfish little bastard he always has been. Pity too, because he could be soo much more. The sister, she's just who she is. We have NEVER really gotten along.. maybe for like an hour here and there. I don't care for the person she is, and she will use anyone she can for her benefit. She will throw me under the bus, and take sides with ANYONE but me.. LOL I'm used to her.. and VERY glad I don't have to maintain any relationship with her right now. She's pregnant, and too volatile to be around. I don't even want my kid around her. Not sure how her boyfriend deals with her. Like I said she and I have never really gotten along.. and I can't see that it will change any time soon. Shame too, I miss my niece and won't be meeting my new niece any time soon. How we were all cut from the SAME cloth is really BEYOND me.... This isn't about being angry or pissed off or anything like that. I think this is more about me trying to "LET IT GO" and finally wash my hands of it all. I guess, I FINALLY hit the end of the line. I can't do it anymore with them. My kid is the MOST important thing in my life right now, and we are happy. I want to keep it that way, so if that means, it's just the two of us... So be it.
"Karma is a bitch... What goes around comes around.."
Monday, December 3, 2007
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is L A
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On the 105 or 110, your speed is expected to match the highway number. Anything less is considered "Wussy".
4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. L A has its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second. However, in Malibu , SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.
6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can get you shot.
7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in all of L A and Orange counties. Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.
8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats, barrels, cones, celebs, rubberneckers shredded tires, cell phones, deer and other road kill, and the coyotes feeding on any of these items.
9. Map quest does not work here, none of the roads are where they say they are or go where they say they do and all the freeway off and on ramps are moved each night.
10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."
11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
12. Do not try to estimate travel time, just leave Monday afternoon for Tuesday appointments, by noon Thursday for Friday and right after church on Sunday for anything on Monday morning.
So I have two favorite Christmas songs... the first song.. (the funny one) ok, maybe not a funny song per se... but since the kid was little, we always sing Christmas songs in the car. I love doing different voices to make her laugh. So I sing Deck the Halls.. Kind of Opera like at first, and then it changes to like a british accent, and then the very last FA LA LA LA LA I sound like a complete dork. She thinks it's the funniest thing.. (Yes, people in other cars have stared at me and burst into laughter).. Ha Ha
One of the great things about having kids, is like getting a free pass to act like a fool. :D And I have had a LOT of practice.. I was being a dork at Disneyland one year and one of the park employees gave me a sticker to proudly wear that I was an "Honorary Citizen" because they like people like me.. HA! Little do they know.. :) Anyway, I digress...
So my really really favorite song is "Little Drummer Boy", but a specific version of it. Bing Crosby and David Bowie sing it together.. actually I think the title is Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth or something like that. I swear I get goosebumps ever time I hear that song.. No particular reason, that is Christmas to me.
Anyhow... it's a beautiful day today... about 40 degrees right now (kinda cold for me), no more rain (yay)... Rain sucks in California (well, everwhere I'm sure) but here, it seems everyone forgets how to drive in the rain, and there are about 428 car crashes about 10 minutes after the rain begins to fall. Hope ya'll have a good one!
"I pray my wish will come true, For my child and your child too, He'll see the day of glory, See the day when men of good will Live in peace, live in peace again" ~Sung by David Bowie and Bing Crosby
(Recorded on September 11, 1977 for Bing Crosby's yearly Christmas special. Crosby died a month later and the show aired posthumously in December 1977.)