Fate..

So who believes in Fate and all that happens is for some reason or another? Yea, me neither. I mean, once I did. I really did. But the more I think about it, it seems a complete waste to leave everything up to "chance" really. If I want something to happen in my life, I have to Make it happen. Not leave it up to "fate" or "chance" or whoever to do it for me. I mean, where would that lead me? If I had done that, let's just say, I wouldn't be the happiest person. Who knows how things would be at this point.. it didn't happen, so Oh Well right?
I guess some things happen for a reason to some degree. Subtely of course. Like the guy who lost his job and was just about broke but because he put his resume out there to every single company he could find, he got a job offer. Things are going well for him now. But did he make that happen with hard work and diligence or did it all happen for a reason to perhaps teach him the lesson that job security doesn't exist and you better have something to fall back on if you ever do get let go?
I still don't know. Maybe a little of both. I would like to think that. I like to try to learn something from all experiences that I've had. You have some bad ones, and you learn from them and swear not to repeat it, but then "fate"(?) steps in and there you are all over again. Is it fate that brought you there? Or your own doing because it's just something you wanted to do again? And what about regret? Do you regret anything? Ok, I'll leave that for another post another day....

"It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves."
William Shakespeare

Pain..

So I just had surgery last Thursday.. Ok, so I have given BIRTH for goodness sake and that was tough, but certainly not as bad as I expected. You'd think a little arthroscopic surgery would be a breeze. YA. Right. I like to think that I am a strong person, both physically and mentally.. apparently not so much. The first couple days, not so bad... I mean, seriously. However, the 4th and 5th days, OHMIGOSH. I AM A WUSS. And I hate it. It's killing me and there's nothing for me to do about it. To be honest, it feels like someone cut my shoulder open, and stuck one of those little hand blenders into the hole and just turned it on. Perhaps on Frappe`??
It's funny, I keep seeing the stiches and I think there is a spider there, and of course, instinct is to brush it away... YEA.. That's fun! Not.
Anyway, just thought I'd share what a wuss I am with you... cuz misery loves company... No??

Sometimes it is harder to deprive oneself of a pain than of a pleasure.

F. Scott Fitzgerald

Alive..

Hhhhmmm... it's been awhile.. Lots of stuff happening... Feels like I haven't been home in forever... So let's see... My sister is having another girl.. cool.. My brother, well, he's my bro. Love him to death. My folks are finally gonna move out of state.. they've been dyin to go for YEARS... Very happy for them. Dog is good.. My Kid is good.. I'm good. Yea, I am. Kinda cool actually..
I guess right now, I am content with "me". And I like it. It's a good feeling to have. Yea, I do stupid things, who doesn't. I realize it tho, and feel regret for being an ass, and I try to learn from it.. (I really try not to REPEAT stupid shit too but hey.. sometimes "it seemed like a good idea at the time" LOL ) I need to get a shirt made with that on it.. I love that one..
Ok, done laughing.. anyway.. Just letting all 2 of you know that I am still alive... uninspired to write lately, but alive.

"Never look down on anybody unless you're helping him up."

Jesse Jackson