Too Good..

It was too good to last. I tried. What do you do... Getting rid of all of the bad people in my life.. seems to be working out pretty good too. We'll see. I think.

WHY...

If someone doesn't like your behavior or your actions, and you are aware of this, why would you KEEP DOING IT????

Holiday..

Ok, I'm doing a little better than the other day.. I have finally realized that I am not fully in control. It's taken MANY years to figure this out.. Oh and I can't do everything by myself. Go figure. That was really difficult and scary for me to admit. And here I am putting it in black and white. Who knows maybe it'll help more.. Anyway, so it is Labor Day this weekend. Going to take off after work today and head out to the desert.. it's finally cooling down. The kid is very excited.. We are going to meet up with some friends we met last time we were out there. Should be a nice relaxing weekend. I'm excited.. I need it. My sister, is probably coming out with her kids too.. Good times... :) Hope you all have a safe and fun long weekend...

Anyone..

Please come and slap the shit out of me, and then run me over with the car.. twice, for good measure. Thanks.

4th Grade..

I wish I remembered that far back.. I know a lot of people that DO remember that far back that are my age.. Kinda weird.. I sort of remember teachers, but not those all important drama moments with friends... nothin'. Sometimes I think it's good that I don't remember that stuff.. I barely remember High school drama.. only that most didn't like me, but it wasn't a big deal..

Anyway.... back to my point. So, the Kid started 4th grade.. I can't believe how nervous she was!! Just not her style. She picked out an outfit for the first day that consisted of a brown tank top, a SKIRT *GASP* and some funky argyle socks (they actually matched LOL) she thought she looked all that and a bag of chips.. She really did look cute. I was happy/impressed she matched for once.. She tells me "Mom, who cares if it matches, at least I have clothes on right?" Ya.. Right.. hahaha

So, I am a little sentimental today.. Oh.. and an update.. I did NOT win the lottery... not that I thought I would.. :( So, a couple hours I get to go pick up the Kid and find out all about the Drama of the day for 4th grade.. Not that I miss that.. hers is a lot more entertaining than my bullshit drama.. LOL

End of the line..

So, I am soooo completely frustrated, and am at my wits end.. I was supposed to get a nice bonus, but then it was cut WAAY back at the last minute, which I didn't find out til I actually GOT the check.. Nice. So, I can't pay for my training course... which is REALLY SERIOUSLY pissing me off.. I want to do this and finish it soooo bad... Maybe I'll win the lotto tonight?? Not so much, single mom, white, young.. not in this lifetime..

I want to move.. but apparently no one is renting out the house that I want.. go figure.. The kid is giving me grief lately, and I'm not sure what her deal is. Whenever she comes back from being with her dad for a period of time, it seems she gets like this.. It was kinda nice tho, we hung out last night, played with the dogs, watched some Family guy and George lopez... and she slept with me.. I like that... I can hear her breathe... However, she does have an uncanny knack of flinging her arm wildly but hitting me square in the nose EVERY single time... that has to be some kind of talent right!?

I am really tired lately.. I was sick over the weekend.. weak, tired.. laid around doing nothing.. shut off my phone and everything was kind of nice. I've been pretty upset with myself lately.. I am really tired of the fact that I ALLOW people to treat me how they do.. I have been allowing myself to get upset and feel these emotions that I DO NOT LIKE. EVERYONE has a choice on their behavior. EVERYONE. Me.. You.. everyone. Regardless of how people treat you, is it not YOUR choice how you are going to react?? Say, I get in your face, and just tell you you are a loser and whatever. Is it not then YOUR decision how you react? Walk away? Say more hurtful things? Hit someone? I mean, really.. it is your choice how you react, and I think that defines you as a person.. and it makes me sad. We have so many different choices to choose from, and some of us, choose the stupidest ones possible. Ones that cause irreparable damage. *SIGH*