What else.. ?

So Halloween was a bust.. I couldn't walk to take the kid trick or treating, and that really bummed me out.. Saturday was ok, I pretty much laid around all day trying to keep my leg up.. Sunday.  Now there's a great day. I cried ALL day long.  My leg was hurting throbbing all the way from the back of my calf up then, behind my knee, up the back of my thigh and up my inner thigh.  Took some of the pain pills, nothing.  Took the muscle relaxer, figuring that might help nothing.  Kept crying.  Ok, finally got to a point at about 5 or so, I called the on call orthopedic doctor.  Kinda glad I did.  He said to go in because it sounded like there might be a blockage in my veins.  So I took myself to the ER sunday.  Turns out, dealing with all that pain all day long and the previous night, I have a rather large blood clot, and quite a few others.. If anyone has had blood clots before (which I have not), OH MI GOSH, this pain is unbelievable.  I guess, the blood isn't flowing back up my leg, which makes it feel like its major cramping and hurts to touch.  My skin is warm there too.  I just hate the fact that it just creeps up on me, and I start crying like right in the middle of a sentence (no joke, like right now).  THIS SHIT SUCKS.  I don't know how much more I can physically take.  Shit I would MUCH prefer to give birth than go thru this..  I am trying to see if I can work from home the rest of the week, because I just can't elevate my leg without it hitting my calf which is in a rather large amount of pain.

I think sunday was the first time I was ever in the ER when I could honestly say that the amount of pain I was in was a 10.  It fukn HURTS.  

So after finding the blood clots, they put me on Coumadin for the next THREE MONTHS.  Great.  But, before the coumadin kicks in I have to give myself a shot of  100mg of Lovenox every night which helps to treat and prevent blood clots.  They gave me some Ativan too because I'll tell ya, with a broken leg AND blood clots, makes it rather almost impossible to get comfortable to sleep, so I just lay and cry.  I took one of those last night before bed.  DURING THE STEELER game mind you.  Yes, I did fall asleep rather quickly, (which is new, and kinda nice), BUT, I woke up at 2am crying.  So, had to get up to get pain pills again..  I can't WAIT until this blood thinner crap starts to work, standing hurts, especially first thing in the morning.. that's a good 10 minute cry until my leg is used to being on the ground again.. I want to get back in bed now.  What really sucks, is getting so frustrated at the pain, and annoyance of all this bullshit, that now and again I chuck the crutches across the room and whatever, and then sit there cuz I can't reach them, and then cry some more.  For someone who don't cry too much.. I've done enough of it in the last two weeks to last me the rest of my life.