HHmmm..

Me and the kid went to the beauty shop on Sunday.. That was fun.. We both were in DIRE need of a haircut.. She lost about 3 inches.. :(  But, she got "layers" and she is just in love with her hair now.. LOL  She's so cute..   Had to share that.

So I have a lot on my mind lately.. One of course, if you have been following this blog is the stupid IRS.  So they did an audit, and I sent all the paperwork in (after over a year of miscommunication on THEIR part).. So I call Daily.  Yes, daily.  They held my tax returns from LAST year, as well as this year, because of this crap.  Anyway every day I am told "We received your paperwork, but we're not done yet".. Same shit, different day.  Ya, whatever.  The funny thing is, they are charging me interest, they will determine that they do in fact OWE me MY money back, but will they give me the interest on the money they have HELD for the last year!?  No.  But they'll charge it to me?  I don't get that one.  Oh, and the state.. ya.. supposedly getting a refund from them, but because the state is "broke", won't see that, and when we DO finally see it, will there be interest on that too?  Hell No!!  Bunch of shit heads.  Whatever. 

Next subject:  Family.  Ya, back to them, haven't really mentioned much of them in a while..  I was reading back to 2007 july some time, about when I couldn't stand them, and that they just take advantage of me.  It's taken me some time, but I realized it's my fault.  I allowed that to happen.  Anyway, cool things have since occurred.  I talk to my sister now.  Like almost daily which is pretty cool.. I see my nieces, also cool. .  I can deal with her now, another cool thing.  Dunno if I've grown up some, or just let shit go, or what, but it is what it is, and I'm diggin it.   I just heard that my brother has informed my mother that he regrets all he's done to my sister and myself over the last 10 years or so.. Regrets taking advantage of me.. hhhmmmm  That's all fine and dandy, maybe someday he'll tell me, and perhaps start paying down his damn near 3,000 dollar debt to me.  Sorry.. had to get back up to the keyboard, I fell off my chair I was laughing so hard at that one.  Whew..  LOL

Here's something else that is just eating me alive right now.  So the kid is having MAJAH issues with her dad.  Like so much so she doesn't want to see him or be around him.  She's 9 now.  She has gotten to the point that she constantly talks back to me, yells at me, and consistently whines, all.  the.  time.   I can't take much more.  I don't spank her.  Like ever.  It's not that I don't believe in it, I just feel that she should be old enough and that we should be able to discuss her behavioral problems at length and that she can change.  We've had multiple discussions, ok, over and over and over and over and over, and apparently she's either deaf, or just blows me off.  So, on Sunday, she proceeded to holler and talk back to me.  I told her calmly and quietly to go to her room QUIETLY (as I really didn't want to hear her crying/moaning/wailing on the way).. She did just that.  Now, again, I RARELY ever spank her, and she knows it.  So I walked into her room she was turned away from me damn near screaming, so I spanked her butt, once.  She turned to me with a shocked look like "What did you do THAT for!?"  Then she proceeded to start screaming right at my face.  VERY loud.  So I popped her mouth .. I know that was wrong, and I was (and still am) VERY upset about it all.  I'm disappointed, and hurt that I let things get this bad.  After she stopped crying she asked if we could talk.  I said Yes, I would like that.  She apologized for her behavior and I apologized for smacking her.  (Not for spanking her once).  We talked some more about her chores and her attitude and she said she wants to do better, and cried some more so I know she really does..  She is going to see a Psychologist this weekend.  She really needs to be able to talk to someone about her feelings and know she's not going to get "grounded for breathing" (as she says her dad does to her) and that she feels safe to speak to.  She used to go when she was 4/5 yrs old and it did help then, so I am just praying this helps her now..  I want to be the best parent I can and raise her to be a good girl, but my God it's so difficult with two households and not the same rules.. :(