Y'all are liars...

You know, I had seriously really wanted to believe you guys that I am doing things re: Dano "Right".  SHE just had to prove y'all wrong I guess.  I swear.  I am madder than a wet hen right now.  I am really trying to do everything the best that I can alone.  I CAN'T DO IT.  She's supposed to get ALL of her homework done when she is at "his" house.  Seems he can't be bothered with checking her homework to make SURE SHE DOES IT.  She's 12 FFS!! Of course she's gonna try to get out of it.  She did it last night.  I told her "Get ALL OF YOUR WORK DONE" when she got out of my car.  When I picked her up "Did you finish ALL OF YOUR WORK?"  "Yup"  Wrong.  I even got her an AGENDA to put in there ALL of her assignments.  Now, it is HIS job to be a parent and check to make sure she's doing what she's supposed to.  WHY WOULD I EXPECT THAT?!?!  He doesn't even "know" her anymore.  I shit you not.  Doesn't ask about school, friends, BOYS, NOTHING.  So, why expect he would check on her school work.  And therein lies my problem.  I screwed up because I didn't do it either.   I left it to him to do HIS JOB.  
So, this morning, she calls me (She calls me at LEAST 8 times every morning...) and she's crying.  At first I think it's because I went to wake her up to get up and shower, and she pitched THE biggest fit... so I just left.  Thought she was apologizing for that.  Nope.  She didn't do her homework.  OH MY GOSH Can you believe it!?  GASP!  Quelle Horreur!  I was pretty much beside myself.  BUT, in the larger scheme of things.. it is MY FAULT.  
I hate that, I hate admitting that, and saying it in my head.   But, it is.  So... Now, I am back to spending MY afternoons doing 7th grade pre algebra and talking about Atilla the Hun (Which I told Dano was very similar to my mother) and whatever other crap I don't care to remember about middle school.   That's not fair.  I am adult damn it.  I don't WANT to do school work, but to make sure that SHE succeeds, and does far better than I did in life, I guess I'll just drink my beers sitting on the floor in the office, listening to whatever is on the agenda starting today.   Yuk. 

Just stuff..

So Dano was supposed to go with the donor to "the river" this past weekend. Long story short, she decided she did not want to go, rather get the rest of her "school stuff" together and relax before school starts this Wednesday.  Many of you know, they don't really get along.  Not surprising, I mean, I DIVORCED him for a reasons..  He was VERY upset with her, and threatened to tell her "friends" (his friends kids that he states she has already pushed away) to NOT invite her anywhere because she didn't go with him.   VERY adult of him no?  He also told her he is "SELLING HER STUFF".. no more bedroom for her to have.  She hasn't stayed over night for over a year, but this makes me think he has no plans to change that now.  :(  Had to rush around Friday and left work early to take her to the Dr to get a TB test so she CAN start school this week.. (Crazy day).. so He has to run her by the dr today before 5pm to get the result and papers to give to school.  WHAT a mess.. talk about pissy.. "Why do I have to do this on MY day!?  Why can't YOU do it!!?"  Um, hi, you are her DAD, it's part of YOUR job as a parent!  Ugh..  Back to my point.  
She stayed home with me.  (I was happy haha)  We spent saturday relaxing, for reals, and smoked porky pigs butt again.. OH MY GOSH DELICIOUS!!  Dano had the brilliant idea to use some of the roasted salsa I made last weekend on her bbq pulled pork samiches... WOW.. amazing flavors..  Then I took one of mine, and added .... Dill relish.  HOLY BAT CRAP it was amazing too! LOL  (I get the little dinner rolls and make small samiches with that... more fun and messy!)  Kira (next door neighbor BFF) and Dano and now the gal that JUST moved into the culdesac as well, Lauren were all running amock Saturday night..  You KNOW you are old when you HAVE to stay up late on a weekend night just to not worry about your kids... ;)  LOL  They had a great time..  VERY relaxing for her.  
Sunday am, we went to Wallyworld to get groceries.. and school supplies.. OH MY GAWD was that a hoot!  There was a poor dad there ALONE shopping based off of his 4th grade daughters hand writing... I could stop here.. but, no.. Dano walked with him helping him shop while I got her stuff..  School (7th grade) did not provide ANY type of list for supplies, so I just googled 7th grade supplies, and went off that.. Hopefully we are close. ;)   The guy was very grateful to Dano, and kinda hung with us in the supplies area still shopping, and I believe listening to Dano and myself..  I will embarrass her ANY chance I get, and she knows it..  She wanted something, and I grabbed the ELMO pencil box and Spiderman notebook and said if you use these, and NOT HIDE them, then you can have that.. they guy was cracking up.. He said to her, "You have a very cool Mom, be proud of her"..  um, ok.. thank you. HAHA   Then I was explaining to Dano about "Back in my day, things were different".. Dano tried to argue with me, and a teenage girl (closer to 20) said to Dano "Never question your Mom, she is ALWAYS right no matter what you think.. TRUST ME".  HA!  See!?!? Random strangers know I am right!  hahhahhahahaha  That cracked me up..  
So we go to leave, and the gal at the door checking receipts is looking at mine, and I glanced at her name tag.....   ~DANO~ is what it said!  I showed Dano, and the two were chatting as I went to load the car.. her name is Danielle too, and has ALWAYS gone by Dano..  Now, MY Dano has decided, "I am going to just stay Dano, Mom.. not Dani, and NOT Danielle.. It'll be cool, and different"..   that's my girl. 
After we got home from there, did some more gardening, and then I took all three girls to 'the river'.  Figured I'd look it up, it's just the Santa Ana River that flows down from Big Bear..  it's not deep right now, but man, when it floods..  The girls had more fun than anything I've seen in a long time..  we saw a FOX crossing the river.. really pretty animal.  Not afraid or anything, just played in the water and left.  The girls caught "guppies" and in their attempt to put them into water bottles to bring back to MY house (because their folks would flush them), they jumped OUT of their hands into their bathingsuit tops etc..  LOTS of screaming.. and laughing on my part.. haha  They had Mud throwing fights, wrestling matches, and chased each other up / down the river.   That spot is my new heaven.  The breeze is beautiful, it's like 15 degrees cooler than home (which is 5 minutes away) and just peaceful.   Asshole people left dirty diapers and trash, so I told the girls we are bringing a big trashbag next trip to clean it up since it's like "our spot" now..  They are happy to do it.   Oh, and the "next trip" is Wednesday.. after the first day of school.. They figure they will be so stressed they need to "unwind" for a couple hours..  Guess we'll be going back very soon.  THIS, is MY river... :) 

After the river, we had a nerf gun war... Of course I lost.. ;)  Anyway, we had a FABULOUS relaxing weekend.. She's less stressed out about school, she's ready to go for that..  Now if she would just relax seeing "him" today.  I feel bad for her... Why are people the way they are... 

Could it be?? Am I growing up!?

Something strange is goin on lately.. I'm "HAPPY".  Like for consecutive days.  I am staying AHEAD of the game for once.  haha  I smile for NO reason.  Which by the way has been buttloads of fun lately.  I was thinking, when I was growing up, I was in GATE and skipped grades blah blah.  I went to the schools that were local to where I lived.  I did get into a technology program at a high school outside my city which I subsequently BLEW it and was kicked out of the school..   Anyway, that's not my point.  Now that I am being "forced" to move which I see as a blessing in disguise, I am researching the schools local to the city I want to move to, to check it out, see what it's like, read comments from other parents etc.  Can it be that I am growing up!? I am looking to move, but I have to make sure that the schools (Jr High, and High School) that Dano will be attending are "Distinguished" schools, or rank pretty high up there.  I am actually basing, for the first time in my life, where I am going to move to strictly based on Dano.  Not any of my selfish wishes. Don't get me wrong, I do almost EVERYTHING for Dano, school projects, all the crap she wants etc..  It IS really, just LUCK that all the retail places I like, and the drive thru $tarbuck$, and the market and all that just "happen" to be walking distance, just like the schools... ;) Yay for me.  I know I'm a parent, and that I just turned 39 but THIS specific event in my life I don't feel like a 20 something like usual.  I actually feel kind of "responsible" I think.  Can't do TOO much of that, I'll start acting "old", but this is pretty cool.  I think we're going to go this weekend to the swap meet and get her the "beach cruiser" she really wants to ride to school.  It is like 1.3 miles, so she has to have a cool bike.  She wants purple.  I said sure, with a bike "bling bling" bell on it, and a basket with big purple flames, and flames on the bike frame, and some other cool stuff..  Right?  LOL

Is it just me..

I dunno if it's a "chick thing", or what, but seriously, for NO REASON I am in "one of those moods".. I know I've been here before, but this time, I don't know if I'm depressed, or upset or blah or what.  I'm tired of being thrown under the bus (work related), repeatedly no less, I'm tired of making people a priority when no one does that for me (everyone in general)..  No I don't do it to get something in return but Christ... I exist too.  I need "help" sometimes too.  I want friends too..  For reals, this is NOT a pity party.. just venting to get it off my chest I think so maybe I'll feel better..  Dano is making me I~N~S~A~N~E lately.  Her constant "I forgot my homework at school" bullshit is making me go gray like 100x faster than usual.  And, I'm SURE I'm losing my hair too now.  I told her last night, (not very prettily I might add) that I'm done, and at court next month I'm giving the other parental figure joint custody back.  I told her I can't do it anymore. I go out of my way for her, do everything I can for her, and no matter WHAT I say, it means NOTHING to her.  Ya ya she's almost 12 and is "at that age" where she doesn't give two shits about what I say blah blah yadda yadda.  I don't care.  I am the MOM and if you don't want to listen to me, and you think it's bad here.. good, GO STAY WITH HIM.. you will PRAY to whoever to get you out of that.. AGAIN.  So, after I let her have it, (on the drive home when I picked her up from "his" house), she immediately walked into the house, went straight to the shower, then got her pj's on, made both our lunches (samwiches) for today, got all her school work ready (backpack loaded up) and laid out her school clothes.  All without me saying a word.  Well, besides all the "words" I'd used on the way home.  Maybe it did "click"... we'll see.  I'll have a better idea if she conveniently forgets her homework again today...  


side note:  I think I use """"" (quotes) too much.. reminds me of Joey on Friends mis using "air quotes".. LMAO!


Ok, so yes.. I'm having a hard day..  Am I a horrible mom for telling her what I did about custody? I mean, really, how much am I do put up with?? I can ground her, but that really does nothing because she'd rather be spending her time doing things with me (Weird child, I know)... suggestions?? THOUGHTS?

Enrolled..

Did I mention already that I am officially enrolled in DTI now??  OHMYGOSH I am soo excited.. So many weird things are happening lately..  I am enjoying this detective shit waaay more than I should.. people (friends) are finding out (even not friends anymore) and passing the word to others and it's coming back around.. They all think it's a dumb thing to do blah blah.. "what is she going to investigate??".... just wait and see people.. KARMA is a bitch and apparently so am I.. :D

Anyway, back to the weird stuff.. so like everyone knows I love me some beer..  well, for the last 1 1/2 wks or so, not so much.. like I just can't drink more than 6 or so.. then its a couple days before I can drink it again... I think I just finally got in the mindframe of being healthy and the beers just aren't tasting good.. I don't know..  well I am going to the river this weekend.. so if beer is shut down this weekend.. I will definitely probably need to see a dr.  And for the record.. No, I'm not pregnant.. LMAO.... 

Peace.

Me Time..

Well, I got my "Me" time.. LOL. I got sick. Had to take time off work, and spent 4 days just relaxing and resting and sleeping. A LOT. 14 or so hours a night, and then napping during the day. To be honest.. It was really nice. Anyway, my brother finishes his time in 6 days. Then he's off to Idaho to live with the folks. I"m happy for him, he really needs to get out of here.. I'll be leaving around the same time to go out of state for work. Just for a couple days, but it will be really nice to get away for that short period of time.
Because I have been doing everything for everyone else lately, I seem to have been neglecting my kid. Not in the sense that I don't talk to her or ignore her. I have just assumed she was doing well at school, and doing homework as she should. Ya, Not exactly. Now, I'm having issues with her... She doesn't seem to want to do any school work. Or stop talking during class. Or stop getting out of her seat.. Go figure. I could say "she's 7, they do that", but I think it's more of a lack of my parenting skills. Or maybe teaching skills. So I need to spend more time with her, and "teach" her things. I'm not the smartest person, but I think I have some things that I can teach her to maybe help her along. All I want is for her to succeed. Somehow. And I will do whatever I have to, to help her. She is going to have it better than I did. I want her to have everything she wants, but to also APPRECIATE it all.
Ok, enough of my whining.. She is a good kid tho. I know she is normal. Well, as far as normal goes right?

"A characteristic of the normal child is he doesn't act that way very often." Author Unknown