Thursday, February 19, 2009

File this under..

Wow, last night was really weird.   I know dreams mean something..  most of the time I just don't know what.  So lately I've been pretty stressed.. (as you can see below).  Well, last night, I went to bed, and I had a dream about my grandmother.  She passed away when I was 4 months pregnant with the kid (wwaaayyy bummed about that).. I was VERY close to her.  I used to walk across the alley to her house at like 4am to sit with her while she had her coffee before work, and before I went to school.  On Friday nights, I would go over to her house and watch Dallas and Falcon Crest and have diet 7-up and fritos.  (yummy)..  This was back in the late 80's.  We would go to her house every saturday or sunday for a home cooked breakfast.. Like the works.. Eggs, bacon, sausage, fried potatoes, fried apples, applebutter, biscuits... you get the idea..  Anyway.. last night, I dreamed of her.  I dreamed that my sister and I were at her house (which has obviously been sold to others and drastically changed) to visit her.  I remember horsing around with my sister in the kitchen.  (For some reason my "pop" wasn't around).  Anyway, so I remember going outside and looking in the garage for the maroon caddy and the other garage for all the canned goods (literally canned, my grandparents used to can pickles and kraut etc...) everything was there.  The Swing on the patio.. It was surreal.  But for some reason, and I'm not going to mention details, it was like she was trying to tell me something, and I don't know WHY exactly.  Telling me it was about her I would assume because it didn't apply to me exactly.  Anyway, my sub-conscience apparently needed to be with her last night.  That was a first in a long time.  I don't know why, but I'm really glad.  I woke up and stayed awake for about an hour with my eyes closed and just remembering all the details.. and cried.. a lot.  But it was a good cry I think.  That or I just miss her terribly and hurting.  I don't know.  But I am grateful I got to see her last night.  
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