Tuesday, August 25, 2009

End of the line..

So, I am soooo completely frustrated, and am at my wits end.. I was supposed to get a nice bonus, but then it was cut WAAY back at the last minute, which I didn't find out til I actually GOT the check.. Nice. So, I can't pay for my training course... which is REALLY SERIOUSLY pissing me off.. I want to do this and finish it soooo bad... Maybe I'll win the lotto tonight?? Not so much, single mom, white, young.. not in this lifetime..
I want to move.. but apparently no one is renting out the house that I want.. go figure.. The kid is giving me grief lately, and I'm not sure what her deal is. Whenever she comes back from being with her dad for a period of time, it seems she gets like this.. It was kinda nice tho, we hung out last night, played with the dogs, watched some Family guy and George lopez... and she slept with me.. I like that... I can hear her breathe... However, she does have an uncanny knack of flinging her arm wildly but hitting me square in the nose EVERY single time... that has to be some kind of talent right!?
I am really tired lately.. I was sick over the weekend.. weak, tired.. laid around doing nothing.. shut off my phone and everything was kind of nice. I've been pretty upset with myself lately.. I am really tired of the fact that I ALLOW people to treat me how they do.. I have been allowing myself to get upset and feel these emotions that I DO NOT LIKE. EVERYONE has a choice on their behavior. EVERYONE. Me.. You.. everyone. Regardless of how people treat you, is it not YOUR choice how you are going to react?? Say, I get in your face, and just tell you you are a loser and whatever. Is it not then YOUR decision how you react? Walk away? Say more hurtful things? Hit someone? I mean, really.. it is your choice how you react, and I think that defines you as a person.. and it makes me sad. We have so many different choices to choose from, and some of us, choose the stupidest ones possible. Ones that cause irreparable damage. *SIGH*

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