Wednesday, December 12, 2007

How to Shower..

I LOVE this one... I've seen it a million times, and still makes me laugh OUT loud!!

How to shower like a woman:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.. If you see husband/boyfriend along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror make mental note to do more sit ups/leg lifts
Get in shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to be sure it is clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint enhanced conditioner.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in the shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband/boyfriend along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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How to shower like a man.

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife/girlfriend along the way, shake wiener at her while making the woo-woo sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.
Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse the snot off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower
Spend majority of time washing private parts and surrounding areas.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap bar.
Wash your hair with bar of soap. Make a Mohawk. Pee.
Rinse off and get out of the shower. Partially dry off.
Fail to notice the water on the floor because shower curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size again in the mirror.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on the floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife/girlfriend, pull towel off, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
Throw wet towel on her pillow.

If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something so very wrong with you.
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