Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Merry Christmas..

So something I noticed this year, vs previous years.. I am so much more Emotional!!  I have no idea why.  No... nothing like that.. it's just things seem so different now, and I'm not sure why.  I am NOT happy with the kids dad.  He upset me to no end on saturday.  I have written off a few friends in the last couple months.  I don't want or need all the drama in my life anymore.  So.. certain people are no longer a part of my inner circle.  That said, I was misled by the kids dad, and therefore LIVID at how people can be the way they are.  I tried to change Christmas/eve plans, but I can't bring myself to stick to it.  I feel bad.  I want the kid to be happy.  Yet, it makes me cry like every damned day.  I hate it. The kid says she would rather be with me, but I can't please EVERYONE.  I don't know, maybe I'm just being over sensitive.  But I WANT MY KID.  
I do get to have her this year for New Years.. so for that I am BEYOND grateful, excited and all that.  So she gets to go camping with me for almost 6 days.. SHE is just as excited.  That does help to make up for my shitty emotions, but... I don't know.  I'm sad.  
Anyhow, MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone.. I hope it is all that and more.. 

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