So something I noticed this year, vs previous years.. I am so much more Emotional!! I have no idea why. No... nothing like that.. it's just things seem so different now, and I'm not sure why. I am NOT happy with the kids dad. He upset me to no end on saturday. I have written off a few friends in the last couple months. I don't want or need all the drama in my life anymore. So.. certain people are no longer a part of my inner circle. That said, I was misled by the kids dad, and therefore LIVID at how people can be the way they are. I tried to change Christmas/eve plans, but I can't bring myself to stick to it. I feel bad. I want the kid to be happy. Yet, it makes me cry like every damned day. I hate it. The kid says she would rather be with me, but I can't please EVERYONE. I don't know, maybe I'm just being over sensitive. But I WANT MY KID.
I do get to have her this year for New Years.. so for that I am BEYOND grateful, excited and all that. So she gets to go camping with me for almost 6 days.. SHE is just as excited. That does help to make up for my shitty emotions, but... I don't know. I'm sad.
Anyhow, MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone.. I hope it is all that and more..
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