Spontaneous..

So I got up the other day, got out of bed and went Skydiving. I wanted to preface that with how long I have wanted to do go blah blah... but nah. Let's just get to it. Ok, I have wanted to jump out of a perfectly good airplane for about 13 years. Then I had my kid, and figured it wasn't the "safest" thing to do be doing, so I waited. And waited. And then I decided when I woke up, "I am going skydiving today". Plain and simple. No special occasion, just a good day to fall from the sky. :D

So I made it down there, it was about 80 degrees, and surprisingly I wasn't afraid. I didn't have any hesitation. I think I had mentally prepared myself for a long time. I was glad I didn't have to wear that goofy skydiving jumpsuit thingy... I guess they wear that when It's cold, so I was glad I could jump in just jeans and a tshirt.. :D I could have taken the couple hours and jumped solo for the first time.. but for some reason, I decided to jump "tandem" (attached to the instructor). Kinda glad I did because I was in so much AWE that I wouldn't have remembered to pull the chute in time had I been alone.. LOL
Anyway, standing at the edge of the door of the plane, looking down, I expected to feel "something".. nothing. Just a spectacular view. The instructor asked how I wanted to exit the plane. I said, "flips, cartwheels, whatever works... something "FUN" And, that is what we did. The plane was turning to the right when we jumped so it was flips and cartwheels galore. And it was FUN. We jumped from 12,000 feet, and the free fall was for 6,000 feet. That took about 60 seconds. Apparently when you are jumping tandem, you fall FASTER to the ground that if alone (nice huh?). So they throw up a small chute to slow down from 160MPH to about 120MPH which is more standard for a single jumper. I HIGHLY doubt I could tell the difference. ;)
It was really cool because I got to pull the ripcord, and I got to handle the controls to turn, slow down and haul ass back to the ground. THAT was wicked. I thought that going into a pretty fast spin would upset my belly some, but it didn't.
The landing couldn't have been better... landed on.. my Ass. :D supposed to do that I guess. I was really glad I have that extra padding!! But Holy Shit, that was quite the RUSH. Nothing can compare to that.. I mean, someone asked me about a roller coaster that could compare. Well, you're on a track for a bout 14 seconds, and then it's over. Skydiving, you are falling from the sky between 120 and 160MPH no track, no safety net... Personally, I can't find the comparison.
Seems I had sea legs for a good 45 minutes after jumping. Just a little wobbly. I picked a couple songs to put on my video... The beginning of the video is about getting ready and kind of training, and partly IN the airplane.. That track is "Live like you were dyin" by Tim McGraw. Made a statement to me, so it worked. Then jumping and falling, the only appropriate song I liked was "Free Fallin'" by Tom Petty. That gave me goosebumps watching it after the fact.
In all honesty.. I used to think, "If I can skydive, and everything go according to plan, then I can do Anything"... I couldn't be more wrong. I think I was hoping that it would be profound enough to take away a lot of the hurt and disappointment I have felt in my life... I was hoping to feel "different" somehow. Don't ask why, I don't know... Just an expectation I supposed I had. I guess I am a little disappointed that I don't. I did come to find out it's not skydiving or an "event" that is going to change any of that stuff.. it's just me. It really didn't change me, and I know that I can't "do anything".. shit, I can barely DEAL with anything. But, it was absolutely 100% definitely worth it. So much so I am going again... :)

"The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the strength within you that survives all the hurt." ~Unknown